Georgetown Prof Asks: Are You An Uncivil Leader?

Christine Porath, a management professor at Georgetown’s McDonough School of Business, has dedicated her career to understanding incivility in the workplace. Courtesy photo

A little over two decades ago, something happened that would send Christine Porath down a specific path. Her father, who to that point had always been healthy, suffered a “heart attack scare.” Porath, a management professor at Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business, details the account in the second chapter of her book, Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace.

“For over a decade, my father had endured not one but two extremely uncivil bosses,” she writes in the 230-page book published late last year. “It was ten years before he would talk about it, but when he did, he told me that his boss had made a habit of exploding in people’s faces.”

Porath, who knew about bad boss experiences, concluded her father’s health scare was the result of years spent working in a toxic environment. So she set out to research the effects of incivility in the workplace.

“I felt like I saw first-hand what uncivil behavior does to people,” Porath tells Poets&Quants. “There were consequences for the organization and for people and how people also bring that stress and mood home. It’s not just a problem within the workplace, because it actually bleeds over to people’s personal lives.”

SOME 98% OF WORKERS HAVE EXPERIENCED INCIVILITY IN THE WORKPLACE

For the past two decades, Porath has published and stacked research blocks showing the impacts of incivility in work places. Of the thousands of workers she has polled around the world, 98% claimed to have experienced uncivil behavior in their place of work. Some 99% said they had at least witnessed some form of incivility. Of those experiencing it, more than two-thirds said it came from a manager or boss.

“Seeing or experiencing rude behavior impairs working (short-term) memory and thus cognitive ability,” Porath wrote in a Harvard Business Review article about a year ago. “It has been shown to damage the immune system, put a strain on families, and produce other deleterious effects.”

According to Porath’s research, it’s getting worse, not better. In 1998, a quarter of workers polled said they experienced an uncivil experience at least one a week. By 2011, that number had doubled. But the solution, Porath explains, is not complicated. Most of the incivility can be remedied with some introspection and small changes.

“One of the ones I heard most when I stepped into organizations over the last few years is the idea that leaders are not paying attention,” Porath explains. “They are multitasking. They are on their iPhone or on their laptop during meetings and during one-on-ones. And so people feel disrespected. It struck me that that example, in particular, is one that is not about intention, but is rather a lack of self-awareness.”

A SIMPLE FIX?

The fix could be very simple, Porath believes.

“And that was one that I was almost surprised by, because I think it really speaks to the fact that a lot of these things are little changes that we can make that would go a long way as far as how people felt,” she says. “They would feel valued, work harder, and wouldn’t dwell on things like that.”

In her book, that includes a self-awareness quiz, Porath guides the reader through her findings and simple things organizations and leaders can do to fix both unintentional and intentional incivility and what workers who feel they are the targets of incivility can do.

“I started this in a place where I felt like, gosh, there are some real jerks in the workplace and I need to crack this. But where I’ve landed is much more of the idea that the vast majority of this stems from a lack of self-awareness,” Porath says. “So, again, a big piece of this is getting feedback about what you could be doing differently to affect people in more positive ways where you are going to get their best contributions. So, I think that is hopefully an empowering message. You can do something about this to have more influence.”

Poets&Quants: What led you to decide civility in the workplace would be your main research area for the past two decades?

Chris Porath: It was actually from a work experience. So, I worked at a subsidiary of an organization that had a really toxic culture and it showed me the difference between what work was and what it could be. I felt like I saw first-hand what uncivil behavior does to people. There were consequences for the organization and for people and how people also bring that stress and mood home. It’s not just a problem within the workplace because it actually bleeds over to people’s personal lives. I saw that happen with my dad. My dad had worked for two toxic bosses over a couple decades and I thought at the time that that was an outlier experience — that it doesn’t happen to many people. But after my own work experience, I realized that it’s far too prevalent and I wanted to show what the costs of this were. That’s what set me on the path.

P&Q: Why do you think it is prevalent in organizations for a toxic leader to rise up through the ranks to hold higher management roles?

CP: I think it’s actually not the norm. But, it definitely happens. I think Steve Jobs is a good example of that. In his case, he was pretty extreme in sense of his creativity, innovation, and natural intellectual ability. So, I feel like he may have gotten away with it a little bit. And, I’ve been told when he came back to Apple, for example, he was far different. There weren’t as many temper-tantrums. He wasn’t as rude. Things like like that. So, I think even people like him can learn that there is a better way.

I wouldn’t want to suggest being uncivil is a way to become a leader or a top leader, because, in fact, most of my research shows how civility pays and how people who are perceived as civil are twice as likely to be seen as leaders. There’s really convincing research out of the Center for Creative Leadership that shows three of the top five reasons why leaders end up facing career derailment is really tied to incivility.

So, I think that it certainly happens, that people are able to rise up despite their incivility, but I would hate for the message to be that they succeeded because of it, but rather they succeeded in spite of it.

Georgetown University MSB in Washington, DC. (Photo by Leslie E. Kossoff/Georgetown University)
Pictured are: Prof. Turan Bali, Prof. Stephen Weymouth, Prof. Preeti Choudary

P&Q: At the beginning of the book, you write after the two decades of meeting with different organizations around the world, the most important question for a person to ask his or herself is “Who do I want to be?” How did you arrive on that specific question after all of these meetings and interviews?

CP: It really struck me when I was working on the book — so now about four years ago or so — I had just gotten tenure and one of the things I wrote down when I got tenure was, who do you want to be? I felt like supposedly tenure is granted so you have academic freedom and that kind of thing. So, it really forced me to ask myself, who do I want to be? What’s the kind of work I want to do? Those kinds of things. I literally wrote it on a notepad in big bold letters and put it next to my computer. I would just look at it often and reflect on that. And then I realized it was something I kept asking myself in daily moments to help me make better decisions.

For example, when I was talking about the idea that civility pays and the idea of you don’t want to be the person that actually sent that email. There are these moments we have in our everyday interactions with people where we really should think about biting our lip, or not hitting the send button, or really thinking about who do we want to be in that moment. For me personally, that helps me a lot. And I just felt like whether it was our small daily interactions or bigger picture questions like, what kind of leader do you want to be? Or, what kind of person do you want to be? That question was a really helpful question for me that served multiple purposes.

P&Q: As you were doing your research and writing this book, what were some of the most pervasive examples of incivility in the workplace that kept popping up?

CP: One of the ones I hear most when I stepped into organizations over the last few years is the idea that leaders are not paying attention. They are multitasking. They are on their iPhone or on their laptop during meetings and during one-on-ones. And so people feel disrespected. It struck me that that example, in particular, is one that is not about intention, but is rather a lack of self-awareness. So, what we were following up with people on was what could they be doing differently to help people feel respected and do their jobs better. And that was one that I was almost surprised by because I think it really speaks to the fact that a lot of these things are little changes that we can make that would go a long way as far as how people felt. They would feel valued, work harder, and wouldn’t dwell on things like that.

That was the big one. Other things were the idea of leaders interrupting, or not giving credit where credit is do, not feeling acknowledged by their leaders, and things like that. I’ve had students share this with me when they have taken jobs at some really great organizations, that if they have a boss that will blow by them in the hall and not even acknowledge them and say hello or that kind of thing, it really weighs on them. And it affects how they feel about that workplace and their boss.

What I’m getting to is that most of these things can be changed if a person is aware of it. And so, that’s where I really try to start with people. Get feedback on what are the things that would make a difference to people or how are you being perceived? Because a lot of it can be improved with small steps and being mindful of interactions. So, I think not feeling valued and not feeling listened to are two things, nowadays, because people have so much on their plate.

P&Q: It is fascinating that some of the most common forms of incivility in the workplace stems from potentially good or at least neutral intentions.

CP: Yeah! I think that’s actually one of my biggest take-aways of the last couple decades. I started this in a place where I felt like, gosh, there are some real jerks in the workplace and I need to crack this. But where I’ve landed is much more of the idea that the vast majority of this stems from a lack of self-awareness. So, again, a big piece of this is getting feedback about what you could be doing differently to affect people in more positive ways where you are going to get their best contributions. So, I think that is hopefully an empowering message. You can do something about this to have more influence.

P&Q: What is the best way to build this self-awareness and these ideas your talking about within a business school setting — both at the undergraduate and graduate levels?

CP: I actually teach this to all of our first-year MBAs in a core management course called leadership and personal intelligence. One of the things I do is have them take a quiz on my website — it’s also in the book — but, you can find it at ChristinePorath.com. So, it’s 32 items and hopefully triggers some sort of self-awareness and how you can improve. But the big and most helpful thing I do is I have that in an Excel spreadsheet and ask teams to meet on their own. So, I’m not privy to any of the feedback shared, but they actually provide feedback on what are the three things you are doing well and you should keep working on to be effective and interpersonally influential? And what are three things they should adapt and improve on to improve their influence and effectiveness.

And, you know, I was somewhat surprised. A few years ago, I tried this for the first time and I thought, I don’t know how this is going to go. I wasn’t sure if they were going to like it. But they came back and said this was the most helpful exercise they had done since they arrived at Georgetown. And I try to set it up where I talk about receiving feedback and giving feedback and really try to encourage them to be courageous about stepping out. Because it’s not easy to give negative feedback, especially in these tight-nit teams. But the teams that do it really talk about how valuable it is.

And I think one of the really neat things about both of our undergraduate and graduate programs is they are very international. And so, I think one of the tricky things with civility is that there are very different cultural norms. So, what’s helpful is to get some feedback from teammates and say, this maybe appropriate where you are from, but it may not be helping you in some business situations or our team situation. So, I think it’s helpful even working through some cultural differences while they are at Georgetown and beyond into their career. A lot of them write about that when they do their leadership and personal intelligence plan and how helpful their team feedback was.

McDonough School of Business, Georgetown University: Washington D.C., Architect: Goody Clancy

P&Q: And what about working professionals? How do they go about increasing their self-awareness and personal intelligence to become more civil?

CP: There are a few things. The main big picture goal is to get feedback. And I think that can be done in a variety of ways in an organization. I always suggest 360 feedback. However, that can be more or less useful depending on the kind of culture you work on and how trusted the 360 process is. It can be incredibly helpful to people that have colleagues that share direct feedback, but it’s not always if you are working in a culture where people are fearful or resentful, then often the best feedback is not shared.

Also, working with coaches that can solicit feedback from others for you. It can be translated and anonymous if need be and so forth. Teammates, like I mentioned, because organizations might not have the resources to hire externals to do a 360. So, even just sitting down with your subordinates or teammates and asking for what am I doing that’s really helping you and what could I do to potentially be more helpful? A lot of times, the feedback will come from peers that way.

The other things are taking the civility quiz or simply reflecting on what you could be doing differently or what are your triggers? For example, if I reflect on when I’m not my best self and when I may be more likely to be uncivil. There are times when the time of day matters. Maybe I’m not much of a morning person, so the afternoons are better. Or, maybe if I feel pushed or stressed, I respond in more curt or uncivil ways. It could be the email that sounds snarky or could be misconstrued because you don’t have the mindfulness to write a better email. Not sending emails in the afternoon is one thing I’ve adapted. And catching on to when I’m feeling stressed. I know that is not a time, for example, to send an email or have a really hard conversation. So, paying attention to your triggers is useful.

And as obvious as it sounds, I think taking care of yourself is important. Just the basics. Like, it’s really hard to be effective interacting with others when you’re sleep deprived. Also, eating well and even exercising. Exercising is a great way to work out your stress. Those are some of the things I recommend generally to people to try to be more effective and civil.

P&Q: What would you say to the crowd of people who believe this is just a bunch of touchy-feely stuff and people should just be tougher?

CP: Well, there is a lot of research now that shows civility pays. Just the idea that you want to connect with your employees or teammates with warmth — that’s how you get judged initially. And then go from there. I think that the idea that it’s the number one thing people want from their leaders. When we surveyed over 20,000 people, it was more important to them and had a bigger affect on things like engagement, satisfaction, health and well-being and retention that things like receiving helpful feedback, having an inspiring vision, and opportunities for learning and growth.

It’s really important employees get this from their leaders. And when they do, they are far more engaged. There’s a clear trend in relationship between being respected by your leader and engagement. And when I’ve studied in the social networking studies, whether it’s an international MBA population or a biotech or consulting firms, there is a clear relationship where if people are received as civil, they are much more likely to be seen as leaders. People are more likely to share information with you. And their ultimately going to perform better. At the biotech firm, they performed 13% better than those that were perceived as less civil.

So, there is more and more evidence showing how civility pays. And I think the costs are extreme. So, on the other hand, we know incivility takes people off-track. In experiments, I found people are far less focused, they can’t remember as well, they perform about 33% to 50% worse than other people on various tasks. They are three times less helpful. And, unfortunately, these consequences bleed over to not only the people experiencing it, but to witnesses, too.

Those are some of the reasons why people might want to pay attention to this. And for organizations, there is also a relationship with retention. If you want the best and brightest, you should be managing for this, because people that have choices, typically choose more positive cultures.

P&Q: One of the things that struck me while reading through your book was when you mentioned believing workplace incivility has gotten worse over the past two decades. What were some of your specific findings that led you to this conclusion and how can this trend be flipped?

CP: Over the past couple decades, what I’ve seen is an increase in incivility as reported by people. So, basically, over the past couple decades, it’s really grown quite a bit. A lot more people are experiencing it and a lot more people are witnessing it. There is a clear pattern there. I think part of it is people feel more stressed. The number one reason people report being uncivil is they get overwhelmed or stressed out and don’t have time to be nice. I would argue that it doesn’t involve time. But, nonetheless, I think time is a big factor. I think technology potentially creates more misunderstandings, because you don’t know the tone or the non-verbals, so it can lead you to misinterpret things negatively. Or, the fact that someone wasn’t civil when that wasn’t their intention. Technology actually makes getting all this right more challenging, particularly given the more diverse workplaces. Those are a few of the reasons why, unfortunately, we see more of it.

The good news is that managers and organizations are much more aware of it. A lot of people contact me because they are working on it in their organizations. A couple decades ago, that wasn’t the case. They didn’t really have an understanding of what this was. And it wasn’t on their radar screen. A lot of organizations now, even if it’s moving from good to great, think about how can we improve this? That’s a real positive sign and why I’m hopeful that we can improve this.

P&Q: Your entire last section of the book was dedicated to how the “targets” of incivility should go about handling the situation. Can you share some of those points with us?

CP: Sadly, more than two-thirds of the time, incivility comes from people with greater power or status. But the most important theme is, you need to take care of yourself. Because, you might not be able to change the behavior of your boss or leader. So, I think the one thing I found that helps is to improve your since of thriving, whether it’s inside and outside the workplace. Thinking about and identifying areas of growth and pursuing development in those areas, that’s a key theme. If you’re making progress in other areas, even if it’s outside of the workplace or going back to grad school, that’s at least somewhat helpful because people feel at least some sense of growing and moving forward.

Likewise, looking for opportunities to innovate, I think is great. Whether you craft your job to being more meaningful or you’re working on some tasks that you feel like you can be innovative, that will usually boost your feelings. Turning to a mentor can also be very helpful. They can help you navigate the situation, really reminding you how to stay on track. Taking care of yourself and managing your energy is really important. I talked about that earlier, but just the idea that literally, making sure you’re sleeping, exercising, and eating well — anything you can do. Exercise is particularly useful. If you are depressed, there have been studies that have shown exercise is as effective as the most popular drug that treats depression. It’s a really useful self-help booster.

Trying to find a sense of meaning and purpose within your work and reminding yourself of that is another thing to do. Or crafting your job to work on different projects, events, or causes that may benefit not only you, but also your organization is also helpful. And seeking positive relationships inside and outside work, because what I have found is working with people that frustrate you or suck the life out of you in some way has four to seven times the effect of a positive relationship. So if you are being pulled down by incivility, you really have to work to build up the positive relationships in your life.

And finally, focusing on thriving outside of work. Any energy you can derive from outside of the workplace, you bring back to the workplace. That can also help you recover from incivility. Those are the main things I would recommend.

P&Q: Lastly, after all of this work and research, how are you feeling about incivility in the workplace and where workplace cultures are heading?

CP: I’m hopeful. I’m encouraged by the fact that more leaders are paying attention to this and that I’m having more opportunities to speak with organizations and leaders about it. I love getting the message out there because I’m hopeful that more and more leaders are managing towards this or are setting different expectations and holding themselves accountable. What has also been helpful is I’ve done a lot of work on creating more thriving workplaces and building more positive cultures and one of the things I’ve seen really compelling research around is just how having a positive culture really is a great return on investment. Those are the companies you should invest in. My friend, Tom Gardner, who founded Motley Fool, he’s written a lot about this. They recommend investing in organizations that have good cultures, because that’s where you see a lot of great things happening. And civility is a piece of that. So, my hope is that there is more and more research that speaks to this.

Even working with military groups that are paying attention to how costly this is and potentially thinking about training leaders so they’re aware of this. Implementing this in professions that have more direct aggressive styles sometimes, is very interesting. So, I’m hopeful.

P&Q: Any final thoughts?

CP: No, I don’t think so. I mean, I hope that as a society, we improve this as well. The majority of this research is around and applies to organizations, but when I’ve spoken about this with groups from the United Nations or various international groups, what people pointed to is this is needed for families, this is needed for our communities, and this is needed in our cultures. So, I’m hoping this is a message for people in society — not just our leaders, but everyone in society — because, I think this makes a big difference to people.

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